It is believed that adult children of alcoholics* display certain personality traits as a result of the environment in which they were brought up. While I don’t think absolutely every one always applies, some certainly ring true…
Some of the traits for a person growing up in this type of home, might include:
- They are unsure what normal is
- They judge themselves very harshly
- They have difficulty having fun
- They feel different from other people
- They constantly seek approval and affirmation
- They can be super responsible, or the opposite
- They are incredibly loyal, even when this may be undeserved.
- They can display black and white thinking
The above comes from around 30 years of research by the likes of Dr Janet Woitiz, who believes adult children of alcoholics display similar characteristics to those found in adults raised in homes where other compulsive behaviours were present.
Such behaviours include gambling, strict religious upbringings, chronic illness and other dysfunctional arrangements.
How it impacts
Unfortunately, many people do not make the connection between how they were raised and the problems they experience in adulthood – even though it may have affected everything about them, including their attitudes, behaviour and choices.
It is often only when they seek help for these problems that they become aware of the influence that growing up this way has had on their decision-making ability, their interactions with others, and their very attitude toward life.
Getting better
Fortunately, it is possible to learn some good tools to learn how to function better, despite an alcoholic parental upbringing.
A key part of this is choosing a counsellor you are comfortable with, who will help you to make healthier choices, set safe limits and boundaries, increase your self-esteem, and form healthy relationships.
And on a positive note, in my experience, ACOAs tend to be some of the most loyal, intuitive and responsible people out there.
Don’t hesitate to get in touch 🙂
*’Adult children of alcoholics’ is a term that refers to adults who as children grew up in an alcoholic household (with alcoholic parent/s).
