I was just being honest! (Hint: It’s not just about telling your truth)
The idea that we can and probably should limit our expression of emotion with a partner is directly opposite to the assumed norm that we should always be open and honest and express ourselves fully. The trouble with this is that it’s just not very relational, in practice. Picture this: Nicky and Richard have just had […]
What is stonewalling…and how to stop it
You might be stonewalling, or you might find yourself on the receiving end of it. Either way, it isn’t the most effective tool of communication and it’s a great idea to learn a better way. How would I recognise stonewalling? Also known as ‘the silent treatment’ or ‘shutting down’, stonewalling in a relationship usually shows […]
Your relationship deserves experienced, evidence-based treatment
In September 2024, I became a certified Gottman therapist. The Gottman method of couples therapy is known globally and is based on decades of research observing how couples interact. What is a certified Gottman therapist? Earning this protected title means that the therapist has completed three levels of comprehensive training (Gottman Level 1, 2 and […]
The mindset you need to have a successful relationship
There is a lot of talk about mindset these days. People talk about cultivating a positive mindset for goals they want to achieve, such as sport and work but what mindset is needed for a happy, fulfilling relationship? I often speak to clients about having a ‘relational mindset’. A relational mindset means taking the view […]
My top five best break up tips
If you’ve decided it’s over for good, these break up tips might be useful. This is something I get asked about a lot, so hopefully these will help you too 😊 Realise that breaking up is a form of grief/bereavement. Not only did you lose the person, you lost the life you thought you were […]
What is your attachment style?
If you’ve ever Googled relationship issues, chances areyou’ve come across references to ‘attachment style’ when it comes to dating, choosinga partner; or how it plays out in the relationship you are currently in. Attachment style is based on attachment theory, which refers to research done by UK psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 1950s. Put simply, […]
Relationship red flags, it’s not me it’s you
What do you do when you meet someone you like, you start dating but there’s a few things about them that make you feel uneasy? The honeymoon period You might even find yourself trying to justify some of the behaviour, despite that nervous feeling in your stomach. ‘When we are in love or when we […]
The time is right for online therapy/counselling
With the impact of coronavirus (COVID-19), more and more people are turning to online counselling. Therapy in the comfort of your own home can be a lot more appealing in terms of travel times and the current issues around social distancing due to COVID-19. Online therapy has actually been available for quite some time and […]
My five top tips for blended families
Do you want to be right or do you want to be together? I recently put together these tips for blended families to thrive: 1. The couple needs to come first. Some clients find this tip a bit shocking, but remember that your partner is best placed to soothe you and take care of you. This then […]
Gratitude – the most underrated way to improve your relationship
‘She doesn’t need to thank me’, ‘She knows I’m grateful for what she does’, ‘It feels embarrassing to say thank you to him’ and ‘Why should I have to say thanks?’ – these are all reflections that I have heard from clients when introducing gratitude as a powerfully effective tool to boost their relationships. How […]